mepastormike

This past Saturday I was at a wedding reception held out doors, and in the school yard adjacent to the reception was a father and son playing baseball (I don't know the exact relationship between them, but it appeared to me to be a father and son). It was interesting to watch what was happening between them... from a distance. I could not hear their conversation because of the distance away from them, but my mind had no problem filling in what I couldn't hear.
At first the dad was hitting grounders to the young boy (seemed to be about 10 years old or so). He would hit the ball and give instruction to the son about how to field the ball. The son would make an attempt, but often times miss the ball. The dad would come out to the boy and demonstrate what he was to do... the son would be moving side to side, glove off his hand, swinging his arms and looking in another direction. The dad would attempt to regain his son's attention and carry on with the instruction. The dad would then go back and hit another ball... and another... and another. From the body language I could tell the dad was becoming frustrated and the boy more and more resistant to the "game." Finally the dad drops the bat, points in the direction he wants the boy to go to and begins moving toward the balls he had hit that had gotten past the son. The son throws down his glove and stomps off with his head down and arms crossed. The dad proceeds to pick up the balls and moves back to the equipment he had left on the ground... there was something about the way that he walked back toward where the son was that told me he was very frustrated, yet determined he would get through to the young boy. His posture was very straight, arms rigid with fists clutched after throwing the balls back to the area, chest stuck out... reminded me of something like a male dominate gorilla I had seen on TV. This whole time the boy is sitting on the ground playing with the dirt and grass.
The scene continued as the father moved on to showing the son how to bat. From just watching the son I could tell that he was a decent ball player. Something, perhaps, from the past had sunk in and the boy could hit the ball. But the dad continued on with the instruction... showing the son a technique, giving him the bat, and then taking it back from him within seconds to demonstrate it again.
I guess this scenario struck me because I could see myself in this dad. I, too, had really driven my kids to excel in the sports they were playing. I especially pushed my oldest son the first few years of his "sports career." He did some things well and I really worked with him on the stuff he didn't do so well. Until... he stopped wanting to learn from me. It was not a "game" to him or me. What I learned was that his development was actually slowed way down the more I "tried" to make him learn. I tried to coach one of his teams, but I was so hard on him that after one season I realized I could not continue doing what I was doing.
I've come to realize that my pride was at stake. Instead of helping my son's self esteem I hindered that development. My pushing was just that, pushing. I had not figured out how to encourage. I'm glad to say that through God's help I am much better... and remarkably my kids (including my oldest son) are doing well in the sports areas they are interested in. I can "play" with them much better the "games" they want to be involved in.
My reading today was in 2 Chronicles, chapters 34-36. I read about king Josiah and how he brought reform to God's people. He began his reign at age 8. By age 20 he was making some changes, and by 26 he had brought about reform and began working on restoring the temple. It was during this time that the Book of the Law was found... re-discovered, that gave even more direction to God's people.
As I reflect on Joshia's life I see progress made slowly, but consistently, toward the place he needed to be. No doubt there were people along the way to give guidance and encourage him as he developed into the king/man he became.
Parenting is not easy... I pray for God's continued help to encourage, teach, and coach my kids to be the best they possibly they can be. I have everything to do with this process. May they be Christ followers just like their old man... and hopefully even better.